June 05, 2007

Joe,

You mentioned things in your last message that are so similar to feelings I had of someone else in control of my body. And even what you mention concerning the joy & pleasure of ejaculation was recognizable. In our latter stages Melanie came to realize that I would do, or say, anything to get to cum inside of her - or even cum outside of her!

That night in the hotel room, as Muriel and the "Cutter" were doing things to me down there to prepare me (I did not want to look down), I could tell by the feeling of weight of my penis that I was becoming erect. However I did not want this erection - I thought it should not be happening under these circumstances! When I was being fucked (raped), I was screaming inside (I have continually questioned myself as to why I did not do this out loud) to not let go of my precious fluid, but it was being taken without my wiliness. And I knew this was prelude to the taking of what had made me a man all these years.

Now I struggle everyday with what I have become - a Eunuch.

Please let me know about this event that happened to you, and your feelings. Is there to be more?